A LUM in Prospect calls his son...

LUMBEE LOGIC: A LUM in Prospect calls his son (a doctor stay'n up duh road summuhs) the day before Christmas and says, "Poppuh, I hate duh ruin your day, but I have to tell you dat I'm fed up wid your mommuh! Atter 45 years of misery immuh git shed of 'er."

"Daddy, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We caint stand duh sight uh one anudder any more!" the father says. "We're fell out fur good dis time! I'm sick uh talking about dis, so you call your sistuh (a lawyer stay'n up duh road summuhs) and tell'er."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who 'goes Prospect' on the phone. "Duh devil's ass day'll gitt'n uh divorce!" she shouts, "I'll take care uh dis!"

She calls home immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be dar duhmar! Until then, don't do uh thing. Ye-year?" and hangs up.

The old LUM hangs up his phone and turns to dat uhman uh-hizin's, "Okay," he says, "dur both coming fuh Christmas and pay'n dur own way."